Zap tolerations with friends! Val hanging a mirror and candle holder.
As a coach, one of the exercises that I recommend is to eliminate or zap “tolerations.” The dictionary definition for
tolerate is “to put up with, to endure.” When you are eliminating tolerations, you want to zap those things that are draining your energy. This way you free up your energy for positive action or relaxation!
Zapping Your Tolerations
1. Make a list of 10 things at home and work that you are tolerating. (
Download PDF of Tolerations Worksheet)
2. Start to zap as quickly as you can. One or Two per day.
3. Help: Ask for help. Hire Help. Make strong and respectful requests of others.
4. Buddy up with a friend. Zap together.
Tolerations can be little things that annoy you continually, that you just haven’t taken the time to address. Perhaps you haven’t even been aware that these things are sucking your energy- niggling for attention at the back of your mind. Or maybe each time this thing occurs you curse and scream, but still don’t do anything about it. (Think about Tupperware falling out of the kitchen cabinet every time you open it, the font on your outgoing emails is the wrong color, the steering wheel of the car is sticky, etc…)
Some examples from my life:
Every time I open an email with an attachment or try to send an email with an attachment, I get a dialog box that asks me if I want to change the MS Outlook Database. NO, I don’t want to change the database- If I get asked that one more time I will scream! This really slows down the process of my checking email and drains my energy.
I make beeswax candles as a hobby. For months now, every time I sat down to meditate, I was staring at a burned out candle my altar. It bugged me every time. I have about 50 candles downstairs in a box. Huh? I am happy to report that this toleration has been zapped. The candle holder has been cleaned (this was also holding me up), the used wax went into a bag (I didn’t know where my used wax bag was), and I brought candles upstairs to an easy to access place for next time. Ahhh… this feels good.
Tolerations can also be big things that are draining your energy. There are “pivotal tolerations,” tolerations that when they are taken care of will eliminate about five other tolerations.
For me a pivotal toleration is my house. The lack of organization inside has made it an uncomfortable place to live, and the neglected outside maintenance has made the house unattractive for rent or sale. By eliminating tolerations associated with my house, I clear up many other tolerations as well.
I find it very hard to keep the house clean and organized. I bought about 5 large Rubbermaid storage containers and for the past two weeks I have been organizing and storing. This has really eliminated the amount of “free floating” junk that was without a place in various parts of my home. There was camping gear in practically every room. Winter clothes strewn about. Half completed craft projects in the kitchen, office, etc… you get the picture! I now have storage containers for each of these things (camping gear, crafts, winter clothes, etc..). If one container was not enough (and often it wasn’t, which is why stuff was not put away) then I used a second container. I also realized that access to the containers was very important to continued organization. Over the last year, I had many craft items that I wanted to put away in my craft box- but the box was unreachable in the back of the storage closet! I was tolerating that all year long. And then that turned into tolerating craft items stuffed into the storage closet without being in their box. See? tolerating tolerations can be a slippery slope!
Zap tolerations with friends! Susan making a memory board.
Zapping tolerations can be fun! My girlfriend Susan gave me 4 house cleaners (herself included) for 4 hours as a Christmas Gift. We deep cleaned my house like you would not believe. After cleaning, my other friends joined us and we made a memory board to keep photos organized, hung pictures that had been off the walls for two years, changed knob pulls on an old dresser, and re-fashioned an old chandelier. I can’t even count how many tolerations were eliminated that day. And it was fun!
