Ingrate

Growing up, my mother always called me an ingrate. Maybe she is right. I need to be more grateful. I am always wanting, wanting. Did my mother calling me an ingrate make me ungrateful? Or am I an innate ingrate?

Scary

If I’d known that I was going to hook up with a cute guy in the haunted house, I would not have worn my Spanx.

Friday the 13th

Went to a sex club for the first time. Everyone was so normal, it was weird. Plainly dressed. Very friendly. Matter of fact. “Hello maam. Is this your first time here? If I can help you with anything…show you some flogging or paddle techniques, just let me know.” So polite and helpful.

Late

Why do I do thisto myself? Why do I leave for the airport LATE? I stress out myself. I put other people in danger. It would be better for me and the world if I missed a plane once in a while. I like to play Russian Roulette with the Cosmic Intelligence…if I don’t make the plane, it was meant …

Monogamish

Listened to Ester Perel on The Tim Ferris Show. Brillant.

Cleaning strange things

I went on a google journey today to try to figure out how to clean a few thingsā€”a marijuanna pipe, a silicone vibrator, and my pores. Very productive day.

So Many Clothes

Why do I continue to buy clothes? I love clothes. So many clothes. The bargains felt good. The expensive stuff made me feel guilty. If I was a real yogini I would be happy with ONE garment.

Jaime or Meditation

Why is the mind so resistent to meditation? I have so many excuses as to why I can’t meditate tonight. Cheif among them? I’m tired from watching 2 hours of Outlander. Oh, Jaime.

Taking off her Fear

“One must take off her fear like clothing; One must travel at night; This is the seeking after God” – Maureen Morehead, In a Yellow Room The last few weeks have been all about navigating fear. Fear that my son and brother were or would be harmed on the island of St. John during Hurricanes Irma and Maria. A mother’s …

Doing it Anyway

I’d rather do almost anything than meditate. The urge to resist is so strong. Doing it anyway.